Creative Process

I made a very spur of the moment decision last week to buy Imogen Heap's Everything In-Between The Story of Ellipse. It's a documentary that follows Imogen during the three years of creating and releasing Ellipse. I've just finished watching it and it may be one of the best purchases I've made in years.

I've been in love with her and her music for more years than I can remember. To get a glimpse into the creative process of arguably the most inventive musician working today was incredible. It's fair to say that I'm more in love with her now than ever, but more importantly she has given me a view of pure creativity and clues on how to get there myself.

It's been a few years since I left university, and my creativity has never been a prolific as it was during my studies. In the place of flow and imagination I've been possessed of inertia and claustrophobia. I used to sit and play at the computer. Write two thousand words of an idea just for fun. The last few years I have had to agonize over every word written. Sitting at my desk had become painful and melancholic.

After watching Imogen create her album I finally understand what is different between university and now; what it is that I've lost. Such a simple precious thing as to have been overlooked on previous self meditations. The answer is fun. I stopped having fun. At university I played and did pretty much anything that I felt like. In the years after leaving I stopped messing around and tried to be serious. Trying to figure out what my writing was and what it would do only allowed me to lose sight of why I did it in the first place. It was fun. I write because I like it.

Forget the big ideas. No social or philosophical agendas. Just create for the pure enjoyment of it. And not only words. Sing, draw, paint, carve, juggle, do anything that comes to mind. I was successful at university because I had an idea and followed it until nothing was left. I would spend ten hours playing with words just to get a sense of what I wanted. I would go further than most to get the exact piece that I wanted.

I need to let myself have fun again. Not this sanitised professional form of writing. It doesn't work. And more to the point, I need to let that sense of fun spread into the rest of my life again. Throw away the professional persona I've been using these last years. Let go. Forget everything and come back to myself. My new Job with Waterstones is allowing me to do some of this. I go to work and it's like playing in a big sandbox. I can be the over the top joking self and it works. Now I need to let that sense of fun and play get into my work.

In short, I plan to sing too much, jump around like an idiot, unpack my hats and juggling balls, and be a better more creative version of myself. Many thanks to Imogen Heap for reminding me to be silly. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next.